Star Wars Rogue One

Everyone is raving about Rogue One and miserable little me walked out of it an hour in, I just couldn’t take any more! My husband walked out with me, and when he posted on facebook he got a series of you just have to stick with it; cause an hour wasn’t long enough, and it gets REALLY REALLY good! …..like when you have to acquire a taste for some nasty food! Why should I? It’s just nasty!

In my 33 years I have only walked out of two movies ever before, The Thin Red Line when I was about 15, which while I wasn’t massively impressed was mostly my friends choice to leave, and Turner which was so so so dull and I could get a train in 10 minutes or have to wait in the cold for an hour or so after the boring movie finished so I cut my losses and ran!

I have sat through some really really bad movies! I even like some really really “bad” movies! If there is a dance movie I’m there! Musical hell ye! I even enjoyed the World of Warcraft movie! ….crap did I say that out loud!

I love movies, critically acclaimed or just fun! I love movies! And I love being in the cinema! I evenrogueone_onesheeta_1000_309ed8f6 sat all the way through Superbad on my own abandoned in an empty screen, because I didn’t want to only see half of it. I was not enjoying it, it’s not my sort of movie and its even worse when you’re alone with no one else to laugh, and cinemas on you’re own are actually pretty creepy! I watched all of the Meatloaf classic Roadie, this time at home but also on my own, since Dad had fallen asleep and I just didn’t want to give up on the movie! I do not like not seeing all of a movie! And Roadie was not even the good sort of bad movie, it was just BAD!

But I walked out of Rogue One an hour in.

Now I suppose I might be being a little too hard on Rogue One, I’m not the biggest Star Wars fan I’ll admit, but I do generally enjoy them, they’re harmless fun and I like fun movies, …Did I mention I have done Fast and Furious marathons! But I really know very little of what happened, I know there were gun fights, some lightening, at least one character that I didn’t recognise but given the amount of dramatic music and the slow panning onto the back of his head and finally the slow reveal of his face I was totally meant to know who he was! I know that there was a blind Jedi, a burly guy, a likely to stab you in the back character, a funnyish robot and the main heroine (yay for a female lead) who seemed pretty clued in.

But I was distracted by being punched in the back, splashed with water, having air shoot into my ear, and being thrown around the place. Because I made the stupid stupid decision to try 4DX! What was I thinking!

If you haven’t come across 4DX yet; lucky you, it’s fin for 5 minutes at a theme park, but I wanted to watch a movie! I wanted to follow a plot, I wanted to “be in the movie” as promised! Strangely when I closed my eyes because water was shooting in my face, I missed stuff on screen, when lightening lit up the whole screen and I could see all the seats in front of me, that somewhat broke immersion, and when I got punched in the back it just damn hurt, and it still hurts, two days later I have a lump on my back, and it hurts! And none of that was even the reason we left! We left because there are a LOT of spaceships flying in any Star Wars movie, and every time someone flew, we flew, and our chairs moved and shuddered, sometimes fast sometimes slow but pretty much always making me want to barf!

So by an hour in, I had no idea what the plot was, I was acutely aware that I was in a cinema not in the movie, I had the start of a knot in my back that I’m still in bits from two days later, my ears were cold, my face was wet and I wanted to puke soooo bad!

4DX sucks! Save your money, enjoy your movie!

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